November 2010

posted 30 Oct 2010, 00:06 by Richard Jones   [ updated 30 Oct 2010, 00:12 ]
The Vicar writes ....

I’m very sad to have to report to you the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; life isn’t always fair; and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; a teenager suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his co ndition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. He declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Paracetamol, sun lotion or a sticking plaster to a student; but were not allowed to inform the parents when a child became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as celebrating Christmas became offensive; the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches were forced into becoming businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. He took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman in a café failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by three stepbrothers: I Know My Rights; Someone Else is to Blame; and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

May God’s blessing be with you all